Let GOD Lead
The last few weeks have been such an emotional roller coaster for me. I never thought we would be moving this soon. Or if we did, it would be back on the east coast and closer to family. God has other plans...He always does. We've all heard it but it's true. God will NEVER lead you where He won't provide.
If you've been reading my blog, you're familiar with what's going on with McKenzie. (Side note, I love the Lord and curse some, soooo be prepared). I was having the hardest time finding childcare for her. Every childcare center either denied her admission or said I had to administer all tube feeds. I can't leave my job 3-4 times a day to administer tube feeds! I did find 2 that could take her. One was $1400/month (*rolls eyes and curses under breath) and the other was dirty as all hell. Needless to say, I definitely felt defeated. Scared to lose my job because business is just that...business.
Well, a daycare center 5 miles away from my office accepted her on the condition that I be present to administer all tube feeds. I thought to myself, here we go with this shit again. I break down crying and talk to God like I always do...he's the homie. Lord, what am I supposed to do. I'm doing my part but nothing is working out. I know you didn't bless me with this opportunity for things to go like this. Help me. Show me. Lead me.
I went to bed that night and had a dream (I'm my mother's child so don't even ask). The Lord revealed to me what I needed to do. I woke up immediately like you've gotta be kidding. He tells me to go downstairs and look at the paper. He's always right. The plan was to drop her off at 9am (tube feeding), leave during lunch (tube feeding) and pick her up at 4pm (tube feeding). This way I only leave the office during lunch when everyone else leaves. His ways!!
I called the daycare center the next day to run the plan by them and they agreed. Then I spoke to my manager, VP, and President I support and they all agreed. Then I got the email about the house a few hours later. I did my part for 4 months and in 1 day God worked everything out.
It's easy to follow God when He's going in the same direction we want to go in. But what happens when He says go right and you want to go left? It's difficult but these are the times when your faith and trust are tested. Doing things you don't want to do because God said so. Following Him in a direction you don't want to go in but will because obedience is better than sacrifice. Understanding is NOT a prerequisite for obedience.
I've moved before God, without him and sometimes didn't even talk to him about it. Let me tell ya, my ass paid the price for it too. I will never do that again. Don't get it twisted tho, letting God lead doesn't mean you get to sit there and do nothing. You have to do your part! I think some people take "Wait on the Lord" literally. You have to WORK and WAIT.
Tomorrow the movers are coming and we will be writing a new chapter in our lives.
Austin, Texas...Here we come!