My First Mother’s Day

It’s my first Mother’s Day!! I’m the woman and mother I am today because of my mother, aunts and grandmothers. It’s such an honor and blessing to have ya’ll in my life. Happy Mother’s Day to you!

I joined the motherhood club because of you, my sweet McKenzie. It was easy but hurtful telling your father no every time he asked and tried pressuring me into having an abortion. My mother always taught me to stand my ground and I will teach you the same thing. When I think back on where we’ve been, God is the reason we both are here. The doctors didn’t expect either of us to make it…but God. He’s not done with us baby. It was not easy having you at 25 weeks and spending 18 weeks in the NICU. Words can’t express how hard it was to watch you suffer. I felt so helpless and full of fear.

I spent 12 hours every day in the hospital with you and cried every day I had to leave you to go home. So during my pumping sessions at home, I would call and talk to your nurse about how you were doing and how your sats were. I also took these times to read and research all the many things that were going on with you. I was NOT going to be one of the mothers who knew nothing about what was going on with their child because it was a lot of work. Having a medically fragile child isn’t easy and that’s why God gave you to me. I didn’t know how strong I was but he did. I witnessed mothers give their children up because they would require more “time, love and attention” and that’s not what they wanted. I don’t mind that you require more of those things. Being a mother requires you to be selfless and I’ve never known a love like this.